Sick

Drink myself asleep again.
Not quite sure where I’ve been;
Hands sure smell of something queer.
A hint of him; can he be near?

I cannot cry another night.
I cannot win this hateful fight.

Heart starts fluttering faster now.
Lick my hands; sweat on my brow.
Fingertips keep running down.
Can’t think clearly; foggy now.

Over the hardness; into the pool.
Imagine him inside it too.
Pushing up and swirl around.
Little girl makes such loud sounds.

I’ll dive into this fantasy;
If it’s where you’ll always be.

Stumble up onto the floor.
Slump and push myself once more.
Hear a whisper; see a tear.
Ghosts outside won’t let me near.

The wall can’t hold me up no more.
I give up, fall to the floor.
Naked body dance around.
Show this ghost he wants you now.

Shiny metal; broken skin.
Pointy tip, where have you been?
Suck the red, lick it clean.
Play with it, watch the sheen.

Maybe this is enough for him.
Maybe he’ll want to love me then.

Naked girl covered in red.
Naked ghost inside her head.
Arching back and liquid sounds;
Red keeps bleeding outside now.

Fingers touch and hear her moan.
She knew she was never alone.
Slip into unconsciousness.

Where she knows he’ll always be…

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