Guilt

See these scars?

They’re the product of
A heart-broken fantasy realized.

I’ve held these thoughts
For so long and
All at once,
They escape me;
Tearing my soul and
Shattering my perception
Of reality.

I’m nothing more than
A shadow of
What I should be

And I can fool the best of them.

But look in my eyes and
Do you know what you’ll see?

You’ll see my true essence
And everything I’ve tried
To avoid.

I hide it well.

I doubt you’ll ever know
The real me.

These thoughts;
These feelings…
It’s so much more than
What you’d think.

Maybe an exaggeration of the mind?
I wouldn’t know.

All I can be certain of is that
Behind this facade,
There lies a child
In pain.

There lies too much
Guilt.

Eating me up inside;
An obsessiveness that
Refuses to let me forget,
As much as I desire to.

How I wish I could
Put it all behind me and
Be done with it.

This is the punishment for
A black heart;
A corrupt spirit.
A menace and
A mistake.

Let it tear me apart;
Let it torture.
It’s only

Deserved.

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